Change is Too Loud! Change is Too Loud!

Komal Keshran

May 10, 2022


I have been looking and looking and
looking and looking and looking for
a place quieter, quieter than here. My
mother calls me a quitter. She thinks
because I’m faster than the rest of them
I do not belong here. I beg to differ.
I think this is the only place I have ever
belonged. I think I will miss the way
you smell, the way she smells, the way
mornings smell here. If I am to never see
another dew-drop morning it shall be
the greatest regret of my life. My life,
what is it adding up to be? I am waiting,
waiting for twenty-three. I am waiting
to feel like more than just me. More than
just she. More than the long-haired girl
with the curse who lives in the house
at the end of the street. I am not actually
cursed. I am just wholly unwelcome here.
I am not sure which would be worse.
Every line I speak makes less and less sense.
Every word from my mouth sounds less
like the last. I am starting to feel more
out of place here than ever before. I fear
I do not have any time left here. I fear
my car is here. I fear this is as quiet
as things could ever be for me, for she.

Komal Keshran is a young artist from Malaysia. Their work has appeared in Ink Drinkers Poetry, APIARY Magazine, The Write Launch, and Apeiron Review, among others. Komal is also the creator and editor of Orange Blush Zine. You will likely find them in their little corner of the world, either talking to their houseplants or hosting online theatre. Read their work online at https://malandthemoon.tumblr.com/poetry.